The transfer of dependence from food to God can be made more difficult by a wounded sense of self. Many people carry persistent feelings of shame, unworthiness, helplessness, inferiority, or incompleteness. You might have a fear of abandonment that makes you feel helpless. Your parents might not have cared for you very well or loved you unconditionally. There may be persistent hurts from the tragedies of life such as the death of a loved one. You may have experienced a loss that affects your feeling of wholeness.
All this results in emotional pain that is carried deep within us. If these wounds happened in childhood, or have persisted for a long time, there can be conditions of numbness or paralysis of will, making it difficult to respond normally to other people or to life. The pain might come from something that happened long ago, or it might be going on right now. Walls of self-defense can be terribly hard to break down. Some of us may need counseling. A fearful or wounded animal has a hard time trusting the person who is trying to help.
As I mentioned earlier, painful feelings can create a greater susceptibility to overeating or any type of compulsive behavior. Food is used as a balm to soothe or hide the pain inside. Eating becomes the place of reference and security. It has become the primary means of comfort. Some of us truly may be eating for love.
Those of us, whose self-respect has been wounded, especially need assurance of God’s trustworthy presence. Allow the wounds to be healed by God’s comforting love. You need to feel cared for. Experience the security that comes from his love. You need to know that you are his precious child and that you have a unique place in his world. You can take on a new identity with God as your father. Let down your defenses and accept his reliable care and steadfast affection.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted,
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
Pause often, to rest a while with God. The struggle with this temptation has been long and frustrating, so keep enjoying the rest.
If you find it hard to depend on God, you may have some confusion about God that is blocking it. Children sometimes grow up with a frightening image of a stern God that interferes with a trusting relationship. Some people hold an image of God that is very distant and uninvolved. Allow yourself a little time to believe that God is interested in you and that he is loving, comforting, and protecting. God is close to you, and he cares for you. He chose you before you even began to look for him. God has high hopes for you, yet he knows that you have a long way to go. He is patient and kind. He goes with you through the good times and the bad. You are never alone.
But you, O Lord,
are a God merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love
and faithfulness.
Psalm 86:15
